Lets keep this piper hot!
1.) Canadian Mounted Police were stripped of their guns because the government was afraid they would have
to use them. I am sorry but, what?
2.) California elected Arnold Schwarzenegger as their governor. They didn’t learn from Minnesota’s little ditty with Jesse Ventura. Arnold has made a great governor. The phrase “total plutonic reversal” comes to mind.
3.) You have never even heard of the movie Gunga Din. What are you doing in your spare time? I don’t need to know.
4.) The square root of 16 is 4. The square root of 9 is 3. The square root of 4 is 2. The square root of 1 is 1. Why do we put up with the self-absorbed thing from a primary number?
5.) Raisins. What are you doing? Seriously, I haven’t heard from you since your stint with the peanut butter and the celery stick. What have you been up to?
6.) An athlete in the National Football League was killed in his home this weekend. Why are we killing each other? Can’t we find a solution? I am going to continue this blog from Indonesia. I know they don’t have civil rights but they have the lowest crime rate including murder. So long gum chewing hello safety!
7.) Baseball Cards. They are starting to loose their general value. Mine are just starting to become worth something. I hate you, consumer driven economy! I was going to retire on those things.
8.) Is “I’ll be back” a legit reelection campaign platform?
9.) Michael Keaton is no longer doing anything as far as I can tell. Maybe that is a good thing come to think of it. We don’t want or need another Multiplicity.
10.) There are people that cannot eat cheese?! What? AHHHHHHHHHHH! The insanity has to stop. NO CHEESE?! Seriously?!
11.) Not to sound like a broken record but NO CHEESE?! There is so many things that are so freaking wrong with that.
12.) Bears. They are stealing cars and pooping in my general direction. I don’t want to see what they have in store for the world next. You can bet it involves Tom Cruise.
13.) Tom Cruise. Does anyone have any reason to want this man around? I am not advocating killing him just putting him somewhere so we won’t have to see or hear from him again.
14.) Philip Seymour Hoffman has not been in a movie for a while. Some people might argue that he has a right to a private life. This man has an amazing gift. He needs to get back to sharing it.
15.) Robin Williams. Do you remember when this guy was funny? No? Me either, but just in case he was we need to do some research and make sure that whatever happened to him doesn’t happen to anyone else, ever again.
16.) The theme seems to have pulled towards Hollywood so its time to bring out the big guns. Animatronic Bears. There was this movie about bears that could sing and dance and whatnot. I realized that they were robots but that doesn’t make it any better. I couldn’t sleep for like a month. By the way, that Red Bull stuff really works.
17.) Water. What has this beverage done to deserve such devoted followers? I don’t know who the marketing team is behind the stuff but kudos to them.
18.) Just read number 16 one more time. We are talking about robo-bears here people. You should stockpile arms. This is getting serious.
19.) The Canadian National Anthem has no threatening lyrics and lacks an ominous tone. Seriously? What kind of a lame national anthem is that? I think they should have apart in there about missiles or something.
20.) Global warming means that the song White Christmas is going to look really stupid in a couple of years. I say we jump the gun and change it to Brown Christmas this year.
In summation cheese and bears. Think about them both.