With the impending winter, many of your are thinking about getting rid of that hunk of junk you refer to as you “ride.” Hear is a classic interchange between a used car salesman and a young man that took place right here in our town.
Used car salesman: Hey there buddy! What kind of car are you looking for?
Young man: Do I know you?
Used car salesman: Sure, didn’t you go to South.
Young man: South what?
Used car salesman: You know… South High.
Young man: No. I didn’t go to high school in this state.
Used car salesman: Oh, sorry. You look like a guy I knew, Jim. He was a great guy. I bet you are a great guy too!
Young man: Why are you so Happy?
Used car salesman: I get to help you today. That’s a great reason to smile!
Young man: Are you possessed by a demon? (Blank stare) Anyway I am looking for something that gets good gas mileage. Do you have any used Hondas?
Used car salesman: Yes! We have an excellence selection of Hondas and other fuel-efficient cars!
Young man: Are you on some kind of drug that makes you that excited. I mean can you bring it down a notch or two?
Used car salesman: No!
Young man: Is there anyone else in there that maybe a little bit more normal?
Used car salesman: I doubt it!
Young man: (frown) Alright so I am looking for a Honda that is 3 years old and the lowest mileage that I can find.
Used car salesman: We have this lovely 06 Honda Expedition!
Young man: There are so many things wrong with what you just said. Where do I start?
Used car salesman: !!!!!
Young man: That’s a Ford and it has horrible gas mileage.
Used car salesman: Maybe this car isn’t right for you! Here is a great 02 Honda 911 Turbo and its priced to move!
Young man: That’s a friggin’ Porsche. It costs 39,000 dollars. I don’t want to spend that much on a car.
Used car salesman: Can you really put a price tag on the combination of speed and fuel economy the Honda Porsche offers!?!
Young man: Apparently so. You guys put one on it. What else is there?
Used car salesman: Here is the lovely, affordable and smart Honda caravan!
Young man: Dodge… It’s a Dodge.
Used car salesman: And that what you will be doing when you get behind the wheel of this baby!
Young man: Did you graduate from a high school?
Used car salesman: Absolutely!
Young man: Doubtful.
Used car salesman: Okay, seriously though! This is the perfect car for you!
Young man: Holly crap! You actually are showing me a Honda.
Used car salesman: This 01 Honda Civic is the perfect combination of style and class!
Young man: Yeah it is. This thing has everything. The stereo is a CD player and has a port for my i-pod to hook up to. There is even a moon roof! Wow!
Used car salesman: The miles are incredibly low as well!
Young man: Only 15,000 miles. Is that right?
Used car salesman: It was a Honda pre-certified pre-owned vehicle.
Young man: Oh my word, this is perfect!
Used car salesman: It certainly speaks to your character!
Young man: Um… What?
Used car salesman: So should we sit down and discuss financing.
Young man: No I have my own financ… wait a minute. You guys have this priced at $16,000. That’s got to be an error. They are $18,000 new.
Used car salesman: I don’t set the prices but I can tell you we have a group of people who make sure that our prices are competitive.
Young man: Why aren’t you super excited anymore and who makes sure you are competitive?
Used car salesman: I am trying to be professional here.
Young man: Okay, well this car is extremely over priced. It is worth maybe $9,000, $10,000 tops.
Used car salesman: Whoa, I can’t just give a car like this away man. Do you have any idea how much trouble I would get into for that?
Young man: I am not going to pay $16,000 dollars for a car that cost $18,000 new.
Used car salesman: Okay hold on while I check with my boss. (Salesman runs inside and gets a drink of water from the water fountain and goes to the bathroom before rushing back out to see the young man.)
Used car salesman: I can offer it to you for twelve.
Young man: You didn’t talk to you boss. I saw you go into the bathroom and get a drink. I saw you!
Used car salesman: My boss was using the restroom. I went in there to ask him.
Young man: That seems a bit unlikely but I am not willing to go above 10,000 for this car.
Used car salesman: Seriously, are you trying to get me fired. I have a wife and six kids to take care of.
Young man: I find that hard to believe considering you are still wearing your high school ID badge on your pants.
Used car salesman: I went back to finish up.
Young man: I am finding it hard to believe anything that you say.
Used car salesman: Okay. If I drop it down to $10,000 I am going to have to void our warranty on the car.
Young man: Who cares about your warranty? Honda has a great warranty program.
Used car salesman: They sure do!
Young man: Oh here is Mr. Excited again. Okay I will take the car. I am probably paying a little too much but this is a great car.
Just after the young man leaves with his new Honda the car salesman is approached by one of his colleagues.
Colleague: I can’t believe you finally sold that pile. Did you tell him the factory warranty is void and the transmission is bad?
Used car salesman: Never came up.